Crede Tops Miggy in Bizzaro World

Barry Rozner, writer for Chicago's Daily Herald and Meagan's Law Watchlist Candidate, clearly doesn't give a shit about looking shit up or having a general working knowledge of anything. Check out his musings on a possible Crede to the Dodgers trade.

Also, a thousand apologies to FJM for stealing their format on this one...but fuck it, I'm not making any cheddar on this.

With starter Chad Billingsley probably untouchable, look for the Sox to pursue two or three of the following players in a package: second baseman Tony Abreau, outfielder Matt Kemp, second baseman/outfielder Delwyn Young, outfielder James Loney, reliever Jonathan Broxton, and monster left-handed pitching prospect Clayton Kershaw.

We're talking about Joe Crede, right? For a second I thought Ozzie had managed to resurrect Shoeless Joe Jackson. Imagine how amazing he would be if Torre could convince him to wear shoes...or at least a pair of those hiking sandals w/ all the straps?

Also, the Sox can have outfielder James Loney. However, under no circumstances can they have first-baseman James Loney. The outfielder James Loney runs into walls harder than Dale Earnhardt Sr.

Clayton Kershaw. Hilarious. Matt Kemp. Feel this article should have a two-drink minimum.

Giving this toolbox the benefit of the doubt...he did say "two or three" of the boys. Maybe Abreu and Young for Crede isn't insane, but it took some clever cherry-picking to make his ramblings slightly plausible.

But then he goes off the reservation...

One of those players can be sent to Florida for Cabrera, the 24-year-old third baseman who beat the Marlins at arbitration for $7.4 million last season, and is due to become a free agent after 2009.

Does he actually mean "one" of those guys could snag Cabrera? One of them? Miguel Cabrera? The fat guy that rakes the pill all over the yard? One of them? One of them?

Let me posit a question to Mr. Rozner. Why would the Dodgers trade 2 or 3 of the listed players for Crede, a fairly good 3B, when Cabrera, captain-amazing 3B, could be had for only one of those players?

Mr. Rozner...did you order the code red??? I want the truth!!!