Bring Back Hee-Seop!

So I checked out the Dodgers website in hopes of getting a paraplegic's take on what sort of madness is to be expected in the coming weeks. I instead came across this poll question: Can the Dodgers contend in 2008 without acquiring a big bat for the middle of the order? I took this to be asking whether the Dodgers need to sign a big free agent or trade for a masher in order to win the division or wild card next year.

That being said, I chose 'yes' along with 352 equally good looking fans. Another 225 ridiculously edgy motherfuckers chose 'maybe.' Way to put yourselves out there. I think these are the people who always sit behind me at games. Well, them and Pedro the beer and profanity throwing Pavilion resident. But I like him, er heem.

Now, I understand management probably doesn't care about the numbers on these surveys, but I like to pretend they do and at worst you can tell something out about the fans. 696 people chose 'no.' God Fucking Damnit! Why does no one pay attention to the team we have? Why do people know that Martin is awesome yet 4.3 people cheer for Kemp when he comes up to the plate looking for blood? (I am not counting Kenny, who lies prostrate.) These heathens are the suckfucks that want us to trade three young yet established studs and one prospect for a guy who is [insert overrated adjective, profane for effect]. No man, we need a Vladdy. We can't win without a Big Biological Father! You know what guys, you're right, let's trade Konerko again for.....wait, what did we get? Oh yeah, Roger the Dodger Peanut Thrower. He makes the Loge experience truly unforgettable. If faggots was an acceptable word to call them, I would totally use it. God I hate peanuts.

And even if you were pleased with what we got out of Jeff Shaw, a trade for a big bat would gut our team. Our lack of depth would give us maybe a 1 or 2 season window to win and then be back to square one; square one being worse than where we are now. That is unless we want to become the Yankees and mandate free agent signing only. Big bat, big bat, it's all people talk about. Remember children, pitcher don't matter none in this game. Anyone can throw a ball. That's why it's best to trade top young pitchers and pitching prospects for guys that hit the baseball in a way the Sportscenter anchors approve of.

I guess I'm fine if we sign a free agent. I don't think we need one to contend. Then again, I'm the guy who wanted the Dodgers to start all young guys last year. I also wouldn't oppose every trade. In fact, I'm getting behind the Pierre and Furcal for Hanley Ramirez and Lance Berkman deal. This offseason, though, the price seems to be too high for any big bat trading.