MLBTR has reported that the Rangers were interested in Coco Crisp, but the Red Sox aren't trading him until the Johan Santana situation is resolved (i.e. any deal for Santana would likely include Crisp).
Therefore, the Rangers have turned their sights to some other interesting options including blah, blah, blah, and Juan Pierre. I feel like a 7 year-old rich girl on Christmas morning...or a scat fiend watching 2girls1cup.
Can this really be true? Does God really exist?
I have heard that the Rangers have been looking to offload the Vincente Padilla contract. Would the Rangers be willing to take Pierre and cash for Padilla? If such a miracle could happen...oh it such miracles could really happen. Br!an was advocating a Padilla signing last offseason and not that much has changed.
UPDATE: They both make exectly $9MM/yr. I think Vicente has a 3-year deal compared to Pierre's 5-year deal. Maybe we could make the trade straight up and then contribute $4MM/yr for the final 2 years of Pierre's salary??? Please God...Please...
Padilla could help solidy the back end of the rotation. Then the Dodgers would be free to sign a CF. Hopefully Andruw Jones, but more likely Aaron Rowand. Although I don't like Broken Face, I would be OK with this signing because...GUESS WHY???...it would likely stop us from making any more moves (already got a pitcher and middle order guy)...and then...GUESS WHAT???...we would be less likely to trade that chocolate gazelle Matt Kemp.
In a perfect world we would trade Pierre for Padilla and then NOT sign a crappy overrated CF to replace a crappy overrated CF. We would just start 2008 with an outfield of Ethier/Kemp/Young. Obviously, this could never happen.
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Oh sunny day! This almost sounds too good to be true. I will definitely buy Coletti a cold one if he pulls this off. The thought of getting Padilla doesn’t exactly make my dick hard (frankly I would just as soon drop Pierre in a dumpster like a prom night baby), but I do like the fact that he got suspended 7 games for throwing at that pole smoker Nick Swisher. That guy makes hardcore all-male butt sex seem straight. Padilla is also only 30 which isn’t too bad (from his picture I thought he was born sometime in the 1800’s and roamed the plains with Sitting Bull in search of buffalo).
I’m also surprised we aren’t more involved in the Santana sweepstakes after seeing that Minnesota is considering a deal from Boston including Jon Lester, Coco Crisp, and two minor leaguers. Lester has never pitched a full season, has a career ERA over four and a half, and has tumors all over his body (too soon?). Coco Crisp is a career .330 OBP guy (he is Juan Pierre only not quite as fast).
I recommend packaging Laroche, Kershaw, Pierre, and maybe another prospect because that is way more than the Twins would be getting from Boston. A rotation of Penny, Santana, Lowe, Billingsley, and ME would be a fucking sick rotation (I am sure we can find somebody better though to man the 5th spot).
I would let Colletti give me a Cincinnatti Bowtie is he pulled this off.
I don't agree w/ 2 things from Purple Stuff. First, Crisp isn't Pierre because he is a way better defender and gets paid half as much. Second, no way the Twins deal Santana to us without getting Kemp. Therefore, I do NOT want the him.
Nice prom night baby reference!!!
I am definitely not advocating trading Matt Kemp and how dare you imply as much. I am saying that the Dodgers can put together a package without Kemp that is better/comparable to anything the Red Sox or Yankees are offering. I don’t see why the Twins wouldn’t make a deal with us that didn’t include Kemp, yet they would take a bag of chicken dicks in exchange for Santana from one of those queer-bait east coast teams? They would also be getting Santana out of the AL by dealing him to us (can’t hurt not having to face him). Also Pierre is probably better offensively than Crisp (more steals and slightly higher OBP for career) so I see them as essentially a wash (they both suck balls). If we chip in cash to make the salaries comparable I don’t see a team that would take Crisp as one that wouldn’t also take Pierre.
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I like how you guys are going to let Coletti violate you if he dumps Pierre. Wasn't he the one who signed Pierre?
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