It looks like the starting rotation of the Hiroshima Toyo Carp just got a little weaker as Dodgers have signed Hiroki Kuroda to a three year deal. The deal is in the 36-40 million range, which I'm sure Kuroda could tell you averages out to somewhere between 12 and 13 million a year. Kuroda could also probably beat you in a martial arts fighting match. And, unless you're Mr. Falcon, absolutely trounce you in a small penis contest.
Here are Kuroda's career numbers. To save you a bit of time, he is 32 with a career ERA of 3.69 and WHIP of 1.26. He seems kind of old, but his last 3 seasons were all better than his career numbers and he posted a sick ERA/WHIP combo in 2006 of 1.85/1.00. So, yeah, I guess are #4 spot in the rotation is locked up and our projected 1 through 5 is: Penny, Lowe, Billingsley, Kuroda, Schmidt. Enjoy the bullpen Esteban Loaiza!
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8 comments:
Hahahaha, racial stereotypes are funny. What isn't funny is herpes.
Herpes, although incurable, is HILARIOUS! Not as funny as racial stereotypes (those are my favorite) but still really fucking funny (especially if you aren't the one who has it).
What you may not know Br!an is that I have seen the movie Sidekicks like 6 times (that is the one with Chuck Norris and that faggy kid who killed himself when his acting career went to shit). I'm pretty sure that means I could whip Kuroda's ass in any dojo of his choosing.
The age thing really doesn't concern me. In part because he will only be 35 when the deal runs out and in part because we all know Asians age exceptionally well (Pat Morita looked exactly the same on Happy Days and those Sanford and Son guest spots as he did in Karate Kid 17).
If Schmidt comes back to respectability I REALLY like this team. Solid rotation top to bottom, much improved lineup, and dynamite bullpen. Plus Torre alone is worth an extra 10-15 wins a year as we all know.
CHAMPIONSHIP!
Torre is worth roughly negative five wins in the National League. The man just can't handle the in-game adjustments, look it up. Maybe he'll get Jeff Kent to hug all the minorities on the team, but just wait until he mistakenly pinch hits for Andruw Jones in the 7th inning and botches the resulting double-switch, leaving Andre Ethier behind the plate and Russ Martin in the showers.
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c39215b8f3910115ba59668e0048
Perhaps you are unfamiliar with Mr. Torre's resume. Cut and paste the link above and hopefully my good friend can explain the kind of impact Joe has on a franchise.
Also Joe is an NL guy (played his whole career in the NL and managed 14 years in the NL). He even won the NL West (but lost to Cardinals in NLCS) with Atlanta back in 1982 (way before the Braves were the Braves).
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c39215b8f3910115ba59668e0048
Now here is the right link.
Allright fuck it. The shit keeps getting cut off. Needless to say Carl is a Joe Torre fan. Maybe this will work in two parts.
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episo
deID=8a25c39215b8f3910115ba59668e0048
Sorry douchebag, Torre has a career .436 winning percentage in the NL. Additionally, he had 9 losing seasons in the NL and only 5 winning seasons. Yes, he did win a division in 1982, but his team only won 89 games and was swept in its only playoff series. So, in 14 seasons managing in the NL, he made the playoffs once and got swept. Sweet dude, sweet.
You clearly do not understand how baseball works. A championship manager is worth at least 5 wins a year. Since Joe Torre has won 4 championships, that equals 20 extra wins. This means that if the Dodgers just stood pat regarding their roster they would win 102 games next year. However, they have also added Andruw Jones and a sweet Tojo fireballer. All these developments taken together mean the Blue Crew will win approximately 120-125 games and coast to the World Series behind Torre's leadership.
I'm sorry if this is too much for you to comprehend. Based on the reference to scalping in your screen name, I'm guessing you are a dumb Indian so I forgive you. In the future, just try to lay off the firewater and don't trade all of your land for some blankets full of small pox and a handful of shiny beads.
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