Went Out Crying Like A Bitch

TQ...ViG favorite Jeff "Mustache" Kent has finally decided to hang 'em up after 17 seasons of poisoning clubhouses with his surly attitude. The self-proclaimed tough guy (apparently scowling all the time and reading motorcycle mags makes you a badass) took the opportunity to weep like a disillusioned groupie whose just been thrown off the Poison tour bus after being on the receiving end of a post-concert bukkake bonanza from CC Deville, Ricky Rocket and Bobby Dahl (yes I know you're impressed that I know the other dudes in Poison). I think I speak for all of us when I say: Good Fucking Riddance! Mustache will probably make the Hall and he's put up good numbers throughout an impressive career, but I can't stand the guy. I really just hope Milton Bradley was able to unleash one of his patented bitch slaps on this jive-turkey before the Dodgers made the mistake of trading away the coolest baller in the MLB. Here's to seeing a few more Blake Dewitt t-shirt jerseys around the Ravine (unless of course Ned wises up and signs the O-Dog at a sweet discount). Unskinny Bop, bitches.