Now it seems, for this week anyway, that the Dodgers aren't all that interested in entering into any trade deals with teams. Awesome! And though this quells the fears of the day we all dread for at least a little while, I feel that it's as good a time as any to talk about what we would want if Kemp did get traded. I know I'm a donkey raping shit-eater for bringing it up, and I very well may rape donkeys while eating their shit, but that is neither here nor there and we can't (and haven't on this site) pretend like his trade is not a possibility this offseason.
I must preface that if they do trade Kemp I will most likely (Vegas lists it as a 2.5:1 favorite) crawl into a hole somewhere and end up like this guy. I may also enact a Sean Taylor on Colletti (too soon?). Then again, I cannot see the Dodgers trading for a marquee guy without letting go of Kemp. I just can't see a team accepting Laroche or Ethier or Pierre along with Kershaw for a player that's worth a shit. The exception would be if Ozzie Guillen actually convinced their GM Kenny Williams to take one of these 'scrappy' guys over a beast of a man in Kemp. But that, to be honest, is just every other team in the league's fantasy.
The biggest guys we would go after this offseason would be the oft-talked about Cabrera, the Cy Young collector Santana and the not known by [what do you call casual fans who only know the top 2 or 3 guys on their team and know nothing about the rest of the league? Well, for lack of a better term let's call them] Angels fans Baltimore kid Bedard. The asking price for Cabrera is too high. This site leads the way on reporting how much bullshit it is that the Marlins want everyone on our team younger than 27 for him while requesting only a bag of rimjobs from the Angels. Santana could quite easily demand an even higher price, both in the trade and assuredly in signing him to a long term deal. Though he may be worth a high price, our team would be gutted of young talent and again, have only a short window for victory. This would also lead us into overpaying for one of these free agents (see Torii Hunter), which, to me, seems like a bum deal as well. I'm sorry Mr. Falcon, but if we sign Andruw Jones, Juan Pierre is not going to magically disappear into the dugout. Why? Because there is no justice in this world. And also because we totally need a sparkplug to get innings started. Haven't you read Moneyball? (That is what it's about right?)
So my stream of horseshit logic leads me now to say that if Matt Kemp is traded I would want it to be for Erik Bedard. I feel that he would require slightly less to obtain (even though it is rumored that it will probably take the same as for Cabrera). At least Kemp would be in the other league, so when he decided to start his tear of 30 straight 50 homerun seasons it would be against the AL. Bedard would also make me smile with his filthy breaker. He is from Ontario so we might be able to sign him in Canadian dollars and save ourselves some cash. His Canadianness would also make Jeff "Heart and Soul" Kent happy.
I can't believe I'm actually saying this. I don't want the Dodgers to trade him! With our luck we'll get suckered into another Joel Guzman situation and trade Kemp for someone like Yorvit Torrealba. And though this would get Br!an excited, I would be forced to commit seppuku. What I really want is the Dodgers to go back to the end of last year and do nothing, decide to start all young guys at every position (I guess we could allow Furcal to play) and let our team become awesome. It would have been an outfield of Ethier, Kemp and Young. Infield with Loney, Abreu and Betemit with Martin behind the plate. Plus I wouldn't have to wake up every morning remembering Jason Schmidt is a Dodger. Here's to leaving things as they are......
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It's an old stand-by joke, but it doesn't work anymore because of our shitty economy.
The US Dollar is now only worth 98.8 Canadian cents.
So now Toronto is getting all the deals.
First, I disagree with the entire premise of this posting. I want to have like 10,000 of Matt Kemp's babies.
However, of the 3 possible trades Bedard would likely cost the least...so I agree with that. But he's also been much more injury prone that Santana or Miggy.
Also, fuck Bobby for beating me to that one. As soon as I saw that Canuck money reference I was primed.
Also, I think the acceptable time-frame for using a tragic death for comedy purposes is 24 hours post-mordem. At first glance his 5am death yesterday along w/ this 5 am post seems suspect. However, he died on the east coast. So this post was about 27 hours after the time of death...
RULING = NOT TOO SOON
Dodgers fucking suck. They have a shitty as team with a new overrated manager that won't change shit. They have a white trash second baseman and a center fielder that has an arm of a 2 year old and bunch of beaners on their team.
They will finish behind the Gigantes next year, whilst the Angels and their "rim jobs" of players take the West. Need I say anything more than look at the past few years of head-to-head competition between the 2 teams?
If memory serves me correctly, I went to a game with Mr. Falcon at the over priced piece of shit you all call Dodger Stadium and saw the Angels absolutely destroy the Dodgers. fuckn John Riveria hit a grand slam. Pretty pathetic.
You guys play in the pathetic National League. Move back to Brooklyn. There is room for only one LA team.
Vlad > than all Dodgers combined.
Get off Loney and Kemps jocks. I hope Loney runs into the fucking wall out in right and concusses himself.
I also want to thank you for picking up Shea Hillenbrand last year.
LA Dodgers = 5 titles
LA Angels = 0 titles
Angels of Anaheim = 1 title
Team in Dodgers division = SD (good), AZ (good), COL (good), SF (crappy)
Teams in Angels division = SEA (decent), OAK (terrible), TEX (holocaust)
Either Dodgers or Angels would easily win AL West. Angels or Dodgers COULD win NL West.
Also, if we finish below SF next season I'll blow a hobo.
First off, it was "bag of rimjobs," rimjob.
Second, don't pretend that fans suffer greatly for their team picking up player contracts. I understand that revenue drives prices and expenditures, but it's not as if I'm going to have to spend a grand on a pavilion seat next year just because we signed some guy who doesn't discriminate when it comes to fucking animals. And it's not as if Arte Moreno got the money to overpay Hunter from us, he got it from fucking children. At least that's according to MLB Trade Rumors. Call me a Yankee fan if you want, but what you are saying means, well, nothing to non-management.
Third, at least Dodger Stadium doesn't employ actual retarded people to vendor. I wanted to stab myself in the eye having to wait a half hour while these droolboxes rediscovered what words meant. I can get a beer and Dodger Dog in a timely fashion at Chavez Ravine because they've made the solid business decision of hiring black people.
Fourth, is it fun pretending you grew up an Angels fan in Southern California when you were actually a Dodger lover that followed your bro Chad onto the bandwagon after he opened your eyes to this chap David Eckstein who was playing ball unlike anybody else? Or did your whore of a mother's drunken regulars start using your Dodgers t-ball jersey as a jizz rag enough to make you ashamed to wear it any more?
And last but not least, you don't need the word 'than' when you use the greater than symbol. It is implied, faggot.
WOW!!! Fucking Scathing!!!
I'd sooner fuk w. Omar from 'The Wire' than mess w/ Beasy Bee
Also, Bobby or Habe want to give me odds on Matt Kemp having a better season than Vlad in 2008???
We'll use VORP as the stat
7.5:1 (against my $20)
First off, fuck Canada. Other than hockey, Labatt Blue, and Mr. Falcon’s girlfriend he met while on vacation with his family at Niagara Falls, that country has nothing to offer.
The Habe, did you eat a bag of retard sandwiches for breakfast? Howie Kendrick is like Juan Pierre without the speed. He fucking sucks! If you have no power and don’t get on base and are average at a non-premium defensive position then you fucking suck! You aren’t a sweet prospect that should be used to lure Miggy away from Florida. If Kendrick ever hits 28 jacks in the show I will butt-fuck Rosie O’Donnell right after she’s wolfed down 12 microwave burritos slathered in Tapatio (or as she calls it, a midday snack). If the Angels don’t do this deal because they are afraid to give up that dick-licker then they are even gayer than you are.
You are right in your assessment that there is only room for one team in LA though. That would be the only team from LA, the Los Angeles Dodgers! Disneyland-ville is not a part of the real City of Angels douchebag. Enjoy going to fake-baseball AL games at an amusement park while watching all the rotten cunts from the OC cream their panties thinking about letting Chonch Figgins rip their box to shreds with his 2 inch pecker because they know Daddy will be furious if they bang a Negro.
Fuck the Angels!
Probably the best comment thread yet!!!
Beasy Bee,
Go play bukakee with jeff kent, then take him to a NASCAR event and tag team Jeff Gordon you fucking no talent waste of space.
The reason for the "> than" was because I figured you were some fucking wab that didn't even get past the 2nd grade. You probably call the Dodgers the Doughyers, much like the rest of the Dodgers fans that can't speak English.
Oh and if all you can do is rag on a simple typo, stop wasting my time.
Dear sir,
I could not make out much of what you wrote. This is not because I am new to this language, far from it. I would attribute this to the distractions that go along with having a snuff film party that I invited your girlfriend to. She's quite fat, habe. She says to tell you that she can't take your lack of commitment any more. No, wait, I got that wrong, she says she hates your small cock.
If I were "some fucking wab" who didn't understand english, then why would you use a mathematical term like '>' in the first place? Then you called it a typo? I believe there is some inconsistency there.
I cannot gloat, though, because I believe you have caught me in a lie. I must come clean. Let all who read this site know that I, indeed, am not above tag teaming Jeff Gordon with 'Stache right beside me. I think that would be a whale of a time, though I would prefer it to be me and you, habe, who run the Eiffel Tower on ole number whatever he is. And that's because I'm all about coming together on things. Sports issues and the like. Nevertheless, you've truly called me out on this one, habey. Now please proceed with the gay jokes.
You say that I am wasting your time. I believe that is also a typo. I think you meant to call yourself a waste of time. Not your post, but your life. You as a person, habe. That is what you are. You are some 'shbag who does not love and is not loved. You tramp about in this world looking for an identity, for a true friend, for someone to understand you, but you incessantly fail. You try to regurgitate things you hear from people around you, from ESPN, you become an Angels fan in the hopes of being accepted. When will all the lies stop, habe?
I don't want to be a Negative Nancy B. here, though. Feel free to stop back again any time you wish to post. As you have not contributed anything solid yet, I will await in vain for your first, real, sound thought. I know you will surely take on different names as to misdirect us, but I assure you, I will always remember you as the angry little boy you are inside.
Oh and it's bukake, not bukakee.
For the record, he drives the #24 Dupont Chevrolet.
Then it is you, sir, that I feel should partake in the plans habe has for us. I feel it would only be polite.
Wow. I seem to have struck a nerve there, eh? I didn't realize you took bukake that seriously.
Baseball is the pastime for Americans as Bukake is the pastime for ___________.
A. Beasy Bee
B. Beasy Bee
C. Beasy Bee
D. Beasy Bee
Don't worry. I'll be around here posting as The Habe. I've got nothing to hide from you fairy fuck.
Hey the habe, what the fuck do you know about Americans and our past-times? If you like the faggy ass angels you might as well be a double agent for red china trying to sneak bird flu and assorted other diseases past the diligent scientists at the FDA. Fuck you and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
I am impressed that your faith in your chicken shit team doesn't allow you to answer any of the legitimate questions/doubts about the gay-ngels that have been posted here. Do you actually think Howie Kendrick is a legitimate major league player? Do you really think giving up a piece of shit like Ervin Santana sweetens a deal with the Marlins or did you just assume they were retarded and wouldn't object?
If you ever want to sack up and defend the fact that you love a team that has AIDS feel free to return. If admitting the fact that people like Rex Hudler, Darin Erstad, Scott Spiezio and assorted other faggots associated with the gay-ngels have contagious AIDS is impossible for you, then maybe you need to take a class on logic or human reasoning and get the fuck off this board with the dumbass shit you type.
The Angels are a bunch of dick licking faggots and everybody whose mom didn't shit in their ears when they were kids has gotten the message (and frankly I feel sorry that you had to endure such a rough childhood). Tell your rotten cunt of a mom to take Mr. Falcon's dick out of her ass and teach you the birds and the bees as well as life lessons such as, "the angels have contagious penis cancer", "howie kendrick is a dickless piece of shit who sucks at baseball," and of course the ever popular "how am I ever gonna fit Mr. PurpleStuff's balls into my mouth?"
Fuck you, fuck your couch, fuck your entire family, and most importantly, FUCK THE ANGELS!!!!
Perhaps I have let things get out of hand, dear habe. Please accept my honest attempt to clarify my thoughts for you.
First of all, I never take bukake (kudos on the spelling, I see now that maybe Rome can be built in a day.) lightly. It is an art form that has been practiced for centuries and caused people to unite and nations to split. Or is it nations to come together and people to spit? I'm not sure on the technicalities, only that it is no laughing matter.
Second, I chose 'C' as an answer to your multiple choice quiz (nice job giving another element to the site!) but was wrong. (To be honest, I only chose that one because I was taught in SAT class that 'C' is the most commonly used answer.) I found out on wikipedia, though, that bukake is not considered a pastime any more. It is unfortunately something of a dying art. With that in mind it is with all earnest that I declare there to be nothing I'd rather do than cum all over your face. Let's do it for humanity, habe.
Nevertheless, I've found myself in a bit of a pickle, being gay for you and not for your arguments.
Your claim that no other young player is better suited to win a batting title than Kendrick makes who you are so clear to me and the rest of the gentlemen here on TQVIG: ridiculously stupid (substitute also: donkey raping shit-eater). What about Matt Holliday, habe? Or is 27 too old? Alright, Joe Mauer. Has he come around yet? No? Well how about (and I hate to bring him up as I know you disapprove of me being on peoples' jocks) James Loney? He's younger than your boy H-Ken and hit for a higher average this year. Even last year in spot starts at the end of the season, Loney batted a point less in average with 150 more points in slugging. But I apologize for bringing that stat up. It's unfair. I'm sure Hud has broken down Kendrick's minor league average plenty of times, yet just not gotten around to talking about those other, scarier ones. And I'm sure nothing is said about his inability to walk at any sort of respectable clip. Know how I know? Because fucking uninformed, close minded Angel fans like you walk about and spout the same shit en masse. For your children's sake, I shall not bring up Matt Kemp.
Are you sure you're not really a Red Sox fan? Or you probably were in '04 but not anymore, right? Yeah, fuck them!
Calling Dodger Stadium a shithole or whatever profanity you mustered makes you sound like a giant, walking, flaccid penis. I'm sorry that the only activities that fans are allowed to do there are eat, drink and watch baseball. That is so not cool and I know it. If only I could race Darin Erstad down the basepath in between innings. Dodger Stadium has not forgotten the face of its father, habe, but it seems you have.
The only cool thing about Angel Stadium is how any opposing team fan can waltz in and own the joint.
Until next time, habe, continue to update your blog at: http://thehabe.blogspot.com/ (Dear god, I hope this is yours, though I cannot think there to be many Angel fans up there in SF.) But don't forget about us! It's already been an early Christmas present having you around, what with your uncanny ability to be the pot who calls the kettle a faggot.
If that website (thehabe.blogspot.com) is really his website this guy needs more help than I ever imagined. If I was a nice/decent person I would offer to coach him up on what it is like to be a human. Since I don't give a fuck about faggots who like the gay-ngels, this guy can eat a dick and I hope his life is as shitty as my favorite hobo on the corner of National and 11th in Santa Monica (that is part of Los Angeles for the faggot Angel fan who has never left his mommy's kitchen in corona del mar).
Good luck being a virgin you cock smoking fag. In the meantime I'll be busy raw-dogging your mom, sister, girlfriend, and/or anybody else with a pink one between her legs. Konichiwa bitches!
Listen hear faggots, you all were the ones who started all the personal attacks. I was just ragging on your shitty team. Don't hate because you guys haven’t done shit since gimpy Gibson.
Your stadium sucks because it’s over priced. 10 bucks for a god damn beer? You got to be kidding me. $6.75 at Anaheim and if you think that Dodger Stadium is nicer than Anaheim Stadium, pull your head out of your ass. Stop being such a fuckn homer.
I can walk in and out of Dodger stadium rocking my Angels gear any time of day. It’s funny that you think you can't get away with at Dodger stadium. Is it because of all the gangsters that hang out at the ball park? You know the ones out in the bleachers where apparently you can't even have beer because they know the quality of people who sit up there? Real nice environment there, chief.
"If admitting the fact that people like Rex Hudler, Darin Erstad, Scott Spiezio and assorted other faggots associated with the gay-ngels have contagious AIDS is impossible for you, then maybe you need to take a class on logic or human reasoning and get the fuck off this board with the dumbass shit you type."
Kudos to you for probably one of the stupidest things I've ever read. Keep it up.
You guys are such fuckn homers. You do know a lot about the Dodgers and that’s it. Like I mentioned in a PREVIOUS comment on a different thread, you guys like your young talent and I like ours. Kendrick has been up for 2 years. Let’s see how well Loney and Kemp do next year. Howie was injured for almost 2 months of year.
Yes I know Rex Huddler is a faggot. Nothing much I can do there. You got me.
Vinny needs to hurry up and die and follow Chick Hern to hell.
And no. That is not my blog. I don't consider myself that important to have a blog that I think people will read it like some people. Only reason I stumbled over this piece of shit is because of Mr. Falcon.
Needless to say, I'll be back later laying the smack down on you internet faggots.
Miguel Cabrera was close to be traded to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim this month, but talks fell apart because the Marlins increased their demands at the last minute, Angels owner Arte Moreno said Wednesday. "We felt we had a deal with them twice," Moreno told West Coast writers during a news conference to introduce new Angels outfielder Torii Hunter and pitcher Jon Garland. "They came back and asked for more. They're doing it to everybody. "I think (Dodgers General Manager Ned) Colletti thought he had a deal for Cabrera, and it changed on him too. (The Marlins) maneuvered us against the Dodgers. We both need a third baseman." Marlins baseball operations President Larry Beinfest declined comment through a team spokesman Wednesday night. ... A source familiar with the Marlins' front office's plans said the Marlins are confident they can trade Cabrera during baseball's winter meetings, which start Monday and end next Thursday in Nashville. -- Palm Beach Post
First off, about the personal attacks: fuck your mother.
One of the reasons the Gibson jack was so awesome is because he was a gimp. Thus, calling him "gimpy Gibson" is not going to get anyone going. I appreciate the attempt, though.
It is ten dollars for the large imports at Dodger Stadium. Your 6.75 quote on Angel beer would probably be their small ones, right? Quit trying to be coy, all MLB parks are ridiculously expensive, including Angeland. Moreno made that move only so dipshits like you would think they were saving money. I never buy the small ones, but I think they are actually 7 bucks. So yes, yours are cheaper. Way to make it into the news again, Arte. I see you for what you really are, a fucking pretender. And at least my beer doesn't come with rats.
I'm glad you like your young talent, but you know shit. Kemp and Loney both saw time in early 2006. Same with Kendrick. 2007 was the second year for all three of them, so I don't know what the fuck you are talking about when you say: "Kendrick has been up for 2 years. Let’s see how well Loney and Kemp do next year." H-Ken has more at bats in the bigs, but aside from hitting some doubles he is dominated by Loney and Kemp.
What you also said on the other post was: "We each follow our own team more closely than the other thus know our own prospects a little better." It's clear that what you were trying to do was buy yourself respect on this site. There is none coming, sir. Prove it, habe. Show me you know more about the Angels prospects. You've provided nothing but ape feces so far. You think you enlightened me with your Kendry Morales Cuban National Team factoid? Think again. You see, I cannot respect a guy who says he knows his team, then clearly does not. Drop your knowledge on me, habe, I'll be ready for it. Or just keep calling me a homer.
It took you a whole day to come up with that piece of dog shit? I was hoping for a lot more, but I should have realized the type of person I’m dealing with: "A dried up stinky dick licker" as was once told to Toll Booth Willy.
"It is ten dollars for the large imports at Dodger Stadium. Your 6.75 quote on Angel beer would probably be their small ones, right?"
Nope. Actually it's $6.25 for a large you fuck ass. And it was $10.00 for a large domestic at your shitty stadium.
Apparently you don't go to games all that often if you don't even know the beer price yet you ramble on about how easy it easy to get a beer and a hot dog and how great your stadium is. Or maybe you are so rich you don't have to worry about prices, but considering you’re probably an illegal immigrant, as are most Doughyer fans, I somehow doubt that.
Kudos, habe, on missing the point yet again. Here we go, put out your hand and I'll walk you through it one more time.
Beer at all stadiums is overpriced. I do not go to games to drink stadium beer. I like baseball. I do not consider 2-3 dollars more than bar pricing to be some sort of discount. Why? Because I'm a cheap Mexican. And by 'cheap Mexican' I mean 'guy who bangs your sister.' Or maybe it's because I'm not a rich, Orange County mother's teat sucker. This whole argument is stupid, yet you return to it. Even if Dodger Stadium charged 20 dollars and the Angels gave out free beer I would continue loathing them. Why? Because they suck. And by 'suck' I mean 'are worth less than your semen.'
And while you wait in line for your beer, I watch the game. Perhaps that is why I don't have to listen to D'Marco Farr or Colin Cowherd or Steve Physioc or whoever you rely on to tell you how great Kendrick is.
So continue to complain about beer, and I'll continue to ramble about "how easy it easy to get a beer and a hot dog." Oh habe, sometimes I think I'm talking to a seventh grader. And you know what? That turns me on.
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