After reading this article by Randy Youngman I am worried I gave out the Retard of the Week award a little too soon. First he discusses the Gayngels making a deal for Tejada and says it may happen now that the O's realize Anaheim won't give up Jered Weaver. Really? They NOW realize that? As retarded as the Gayngels are I am pretty sure there was less than zero shot they would ever give up a 25 year old pitcher with a career 24-9 record and 3.33 ERA in order to get an old charred piece of toast like Tejada. The O's may have asked but they clearly knew this too. Youngman doesn't know his fat ass from a hole in the ground so apparently its all news to him.
Then this ball-gag aficionado goes on to say the Dodgers are "interested" in Brandon Inge or Pedro Feliz. Excuse me? Who did you talk to over at Chavez Ravine Randy? Huh? I can't hear you. Oh, what's that? Nobody? Oh, You don't know shit about baseball? That's what I thought. We already have a shitty washed up 3rd baseman. His name is Nomar Garciaparra. And in fairness, his career OPS is nearly 200 points higher than either of these dick lickers Miss Youngman seems to think we are "interested" in. Why would the Dodgers ever consider signing either of these guys (I don't think they have) and why would a guy as dumb as Youngman ever be able to get a job printing stupid shit like this as if it is real hot stove news?
I think this just serves to prove my point that papers/networks are all about hiring loud mouth idiots because it is an attention grabber. In response, I'm ditching work tomorrow and walking into the Register offices wearing a hockey helmet and a Ghostbusters tank top. Then I'm just gonna shout, "Mr. Goodbar has peanuts but Hershey's doesn't" and then claim that "inside sources" have informed me the Reds are considering trading Hamilton, Dunn, and Griffey to the Dodgers in exchange for Pierre, Loaiza, Nancy B, Ned Coletti's mustache, and Saenz. Sounds fit to print!
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Brandon Inge is terrible and has a large contract w/ 3 years remaining. Pedro Feliz is terrible and is older than Charlie Munger. To pretend that either of these guys is a viable option at 3rd is a fucking joke. People so quickly forget how good Nomar can be when healthy. Also, going into 2007 BP listed Laroche as the #1 prospect in a deep system (Loney/Kemp/Martin/Bills were no longer considered prospects).
However, I would trade Inge straight up for Pierre. Inge is a converted catcher and played the position as recently as 2004. I would be OK with him being the backup catcher and getting some spot starts at 3rd. However, this would never happen b/c his contract is WAY too big to justify this role AND the tigers have no use for Pierre.
I would rather just go to Los Feliz and find any hipster off the street than sign Pedro Feliz. He is really NOT good at baseball.
Also, interest in these players was expressly refuted by multiple writers before Youngman's BS was printed.
In addition, have you ever checked the photo that always accompanies his articles? He looks like a confused vagrant that walked in off the streets. And he seems like his attention was distracted by something shiny just before the photo was snapped.
He looks real dumb and it seems like he is. A+ analysis!!!
In 2006 Nomar put up an OPS of .872. Neither of these other guys have ever had a season over .800 (Nomar's done it ten times). His career OPS is .890! Nomar, when healthy, is a very good player (the problem is he is healthy like every other year at this point and he is getting older). I'm not a Nomar apologist by any stretch of the imagination but he has these two pieces of shit lapped.
Also, I would trade Pierre for a bucket of Popeye's chicken.
In fairness though, I would trade a lot of shit for a bucket of Popeye's. To steal a line from our favorite Indian, Euro-trash, techno-fan: "That shit is spiced!"
If I might impart some sage advice at this juncture, perhaps this is an argument for keeping Pierre as the 4th outfielder. His speed, which you continue to undervalue, is an asset that neither Feliz or Inge has. In addition, Pierre's presence and ability to enter the game late as a defensive replacement in RF or as a pinch runner would be guaranteed to win the Dodgers at least 4 more games per year.
I have no problem with Pierre being relegated to a late-inning pinch runner and getting 15-20 starts.
However, this will never happen. The arrogance of baseball organizations will not allow them to do this. Nobody but the Yankees pays people big money to sit on the bench (I doubt Torre would bring this practice with him). Regardless of being the 4th best OF on the team, he will still be given a starting spot. The team will NOT pay him $9MM/yr to ride the pine. It just won't happen. MLB clubs love to compound bad signings by refusing to sit a poorly performing player. This refusal to admit mistakes and act accordingly is a joke. It's like getting into a war on false pretenses and refusing to leave b/c that would be to admit that your not infallible.
The only way to ensure that Pierre doesn't start over Ethier or Kemp is to trade him.
ANGUS's argument regarding Pierre's speed is terrible for multiple reasons. I will (for the last time) show everyone why. Hopefully he'll stop making this terrible argument.
ANGUS: "Pierre's speed is undervalued"
This is wrong b/c Pierre doesn't get on base enough to utilize his only positive asset. His speed is the ONLY reason he is a MLB player. If Pierre's speed was below average he would not be a professional baseball player. However, he's a highly paid professional baseball player.
Stats such as VORP, that take into account stolen bases, still place Pierre well below league average for his position.
THerefore, his speed is actually over-valued.
Here's the logic (don't be scared)
Premise 1: His speed is his only positive asset
Premise 2: Stats that factor in speed still place Pierre well below league average
Premise 3: He's a highly paid MLB CF
Conclusion: His speed is OVERRATED
While I agree that Pedro Feliz and Brandon Inge are horrible offensively, they are actually two of the best defensive 3B in the league. That is important.
Nomar does play dogshit defense at 3rd and Laroche is not much better. However, offensive numbers are so much more important than defense if you're at least servicable at your position.
Are either Nomar or Laroche THAT bad defensively? I don't really know the BP numbers or how they work for defense but my knee jerk reaction is that neither was close to what you would consider a liability with the glove. If somebody could quantify the difference I would appreciate it but I can't imagine it is even close to equating to a 100+ point boost in OPS that you get from Nomar/Laroche over Inge or Feliz.
I think that defense is imensely important to a good baseball team. That is exactly how most teams win champoinships. Maybe we should move Pierre to third - that was we get his speed in the line-up and upgrade our defense.
Angus, I think you just earned the Retard of the Week's Lifetime Achievement Award. If I wasn't so sure you were joking I would feel sorry for you.
If you want to be funny just go for it...don't use some lame, half-assed, network sitcom version of a joke. Come correct or don't come at at all.
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