Self-proclaimed heterosexual Jose Canseco has decided to grace us with another book scheduled to hit the shelves on Opening Day. This greasy Cuban refugee actually has the nerve to call the book "Vindicated." Fuck you Canseco!!! You have not been vindicated. Anyone who isn't fucking blind knew tons of guys were juicing. The only reason there was any doubt/denial about your claims is that you are a complete piece of shit. Not to mention, you were the worst steroid abuser of them all (and from all the twitching and ticking you do in interviews I'm sure you are still hitting the desoxymethyltestosterone on the regular). Blowing the whistle on cheaters when it isn't popular takes character and integrity. Selling out your co-conspirators to make a cheap buck makes you a fucking rat Canseco!
If you want to sell this book to TQ...ViG's loyal readers, maybe you should include a chapter on the taste of Orel Hershiser's dick (since the Bulldog gagged your shit repeatedly in '88). Instead I'm guessing you just accuse your buddies of cheating and brag about how you banged Madonna one time (who was gross as shit even back then) because you think this will fool us into thinking you aren't a dirty faggot. My advice to Jose (and his equally gay but much less talented brother for that matter) is to keep your fucking mouth shut unless you are making me one of those grilled pork sandwiches that are so tasty down in Little Havana.
Lock Up Your Daughters
5 comments:
Purple Stuff is the Woody Paige of this blog.
I don't look anything like Woody Paige.
Purple Stuff is on this blog to make my posts loook good...and he does one hell of a job
Perhaps saying this will make me the Simon Cowell of the blog, but I would straight up rail the shit out of Madonna right now. I'd ruin her life, it'd be so bad. And I would have thrown it in her back in the day Canseco did (even though I was probably just learning what a boner was).
Canseco's whole publicity thing makes me laugh, at him. It's the little things like showing up on the day of the Mitchell Report and releasing this book on Opening Day that tickle my funny bone. As Br!an has documented before (and by "documented" I mean "talked to me about") Canseco would not have held back information for a sequel book. As far as I'm concerned, everything coming out of his mouth now is simply to get attention and make money. I, at least, will be humored along the way.
I really don't have a problem with Madonna on her own. It has more to do with the parade of dirtbags she has banged out over the years. I'm definitely not getting in line for that after dudes like Sean Penn, Canseco, Rodman, and crypt-keeper Warren Beatty have already stripped the bolt clean.
In other words, the car may look allright but I don't want to drive it if there isn't any tread left on the tires.
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