As our throngs of loyal readers have probably realized, things have been pretty slow here at TG...ViG. Although this is somewhat due to our own laziness, there has been little if anything to report in Dodgerland.
This is boring for the blog, but nontheless makes me very happy. November was a stressful time for those of us with Matt Kemp man-crushes. I don't think I could've taken another month of that agony. Is he going to Baltimore? Or Minnesota? Or anywhere?
The Kuroda signing was really the last noteworthy move of the offseason. This is a good thing. I know everyone (except for Juan Pierre apologist Purple Stuff) was waiting for the beautiful day when that cancerous rodent was pawned off to the ChiSox or Rangers. However, the Chisox picked up Quentin and Swisher while the Rangers picked up our favorite crackhead masher Josh Hamilton. Sadly, the window looks to have closed on a Pierre deal. The market for that little bastard was very/very/very small to start and it appears to be non-existent now.
I guess we can call the offseason over. Here's what we did...
Singings:
1. Andruw Jones (2 yrs/$38MM) -- I like it
2. Hiroki Kuroda (3 yrs/$36MM) -- Leaning toward liking it
3. Chan Ho Park -- who gives a fuck???
4. Gary Bennett -- as long as he sees less than 150 ABs
Good Riddance
1. Hendrickson -- finally (even though his numbers reflect better than my memory)
2. Olmedo Saenz -- fat and terrible (bye-bye)
3. Luis Gonzalez -- old/juicer/complainer/detached from reality
4. Ramon Martinez -- I was actually annoyed when he hit a walk-off 2 years ago
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
What a difference a year makes. Luigi has definitely improved his performance dramatically (no word on who injected him in the buttocks with "B-12"). I like all of these moves. My only gripe is that I think Olmedo Saenz should be kept in the organization in some capacity, if only because his blatant disregard for his own health amuses me tremendously. Perhaps he could have a fajita cart in the pavillion a'la Boog Powell in Baltimore?
It is quite a contrast to the holocaust level atrocities Ned committed a season ago when Fivel, Termite Shoulder, and Gonzo were brought on board (although he at least has a deep and lustrous tan).
My prediction for the rest of the league? PAIN!!!
nice Clubber Lang reference
Clubber Lang is a legend! Only BA Baracus would have been more dangerous in the ring. Those Rocky movies are total bullshit. That wop would have gotten his ass kicked in every one of those fights in real life (except maybe that street fight against AIDS patient Tommy Morrison). Those movies just pander to insecure white dudes who think they could knock out some giant brother if only they "gutted it out" in the ring.
It is the same reason people watch the UFC even though half the fights involve middle aged honkeys. That's right. I said it.
Tommy "GUNN" Morrison apparently no longer has AIDS. He's claiming some BS false positive...fucking mind-blowing if it's true. Imagine all the trim even a D-list celeb like Morrison gives up by everyone thinking he has AIDS for 10 years.
It may not be that big a loss in reality. According to an old black dude I talked to at a bar one time (so you know what he says is true): "Half the bitches in this place would suck Magic Johnson's dick even knowing he has AIDS." Of course it was at the Foxfire though so that 50% figure may not be as high at other establishments.
Why the fuck does TGM accept his first positive HIV test, anyway? He was that satisfied with the first test that he didn't want a second test done until 10 years later?
Nice call, homeboy. Nice call.
Bobby always takes a 2nd AIDS test when his first comes back positive. It's that thorough checking and re-checking that gets it done at major downtown firms.
I guess with that big-firm insurance coverage Bobby can just get as many AIDS tests as he wants. Maybe Tommy just had a shitty HMO? Or maybe he's retarded? After seeing this knockout I am gonna go with the latter.
http://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=fpdeONftgaA
Post a Comment