Well, it took a little while but I would like to now formally go on record and say I FUCKING HATE JOE TORRE!!! I was full of optimism when we signed him that his yankee wizardry would help lead us to countless Dodger championships. Now I sadly see that Mr. Torre is nothing more than a total fraud. He is like the Da Vinci Code without Tom Hanks' terrible wig. Some may say this is just me overreacting to one loss (a pretty sweet 9-3 stomping at the hands of the d-BAGS) but this has been brewing for some time.
Frankly I don't expect our boys to win 'em all. I also know Esteban Loaiza throws like a six year old retarded girl so I didn't go into tonight's game feeling all that confident (hopefully Schmidt gets healthy, Kershaw gets here fast, or we find a stop-gap via Kuo, Park, or a trade). Yet I already knew we were done for when I saw the lineup card old Joe had filled out. For the third day in a row, abortion survivor Juan Pierre was penciled in while Matt Kemp sat on the bench. How did Fivel respond to his manager's faith in him? A stellar 0-4 performance dropping his average to .067 on the season (also his OBP and slugging percentage). Kemp of course managed to still be more productive by singling in his lone pinch hit plate appearance. You realize that there was a reason we didn't trade Kemp in the offseason right? He rocks baseballs and bitches with equal talent and vigor. In contrast, Juan Pierre couldn't score in Thailand (either with the dirty whores there or in their 3rd world baseball league).
If this shit continues I am going to either blow my brains out or challenge Torre to a steel cage match in the Chavez Ravine parking lot to determine who manages the team (the loser must also leave Dodger Stadium forever). You better hope for the first option Joe because I will come off the top rope like Jimmy "Superfly" Snooka and throw your ass in the figure four leg lock until your old Daigo legs are snapped in half (making it even harder to walk out of LA in disgrace).
FUCK YOU JOE TORRE!!! Shape up before things get ugly!
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2 comments:
Great 2nd paragraph Purple Stuff. The 'abortion survivor' reference was spot on. If you keep up this quality I might receive fewer requests to have your posting privileges curtailed.
Loaiza did shut the DBacks down after his crap-ass start, sat down 11 in a row. Just saying I don't think he is as bad as you say Purple stuff.
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