After months of waiting, the Dodgers got the opportunity to rinse the disappointment of the NLCS out of their mouths by taking the field in an actual baseball game against another MLB team. My excitement level? I sort of kept an eye on the scoreboard for five innings while watching Champions League soccer. So yeah, spring training games pretty much remind me of dating a girl while you're in high school (not the worst thing you can do with your time, but there probably ain't gonna be a whole lot of "meaningful" action). Nonetheless, any Dodger game is a good Dodger game to me so here's a recap of the relevant storylines coming out of the Blue Crew's spring training opener.
-In the spirit of torturing a long deceased equine creature, Juan "Fivel" Pierre still has AIDS at playing baseball. He unceremoniously went 0-3 after leading off the game in left field. About what we expected. Please get here soon, Manny.
-Matt Kemp and James Loney are Cru Jones-RAD at playing baseball. They combined to go 3-4. #27 added a walk, a stolen base, and two runs scored. About what we expected. Keep it up fellas.
-I hope Claudio Vargas and Eric Milton don't have to start any games this season. Both looked real shaky despite only yielding one run between them (Milton gave up three hits and a walk in an inning and two-thirds but somehow the Cubs failed to score). Get well soon, Jason Schmidt.
-Jeff Samerdjddjjzzjszjdjia is a faggot.
In even bigger news, the Dodgers made yet another contract offer to Manny Ramirez (that just happens to look a whole lot like the first one they made back in November). Basically it is 2/$45 ($25 this year, then $20 in year two), but the second year is a player option (meaning we may have to do this all over again next offseason). The more I see of Fivel this spring, the more I'm willing to pay Manny. Get it done.
In even bigger news, Orlando Hudson was on the radio today and he is now my favorite baseball player of all time. This dude is hilarious (at lease I gathered that much from the few words I was able to understand). It took years of experience talking to my Southern relatives to keep up with his fast-paced, drawling, jive-talk, but it was well worth the effort when he was asked if he would be able to step up and replace Jeff Kent's clubhouse presence by demanding that country music be played in the locker room and by refusing to talk to his teammates. Hudson, being the awesome dude he is, busted out laughing at the question.
I now love the O-Dog as much as I hated Mustache. Seriously, I love me some country music, but only a douche would insist on listening to it when in a situation where you are totally outnumbered by people with vastly differing and more contemporary musical tastes (like an MLB clubhouse full of Mexis and soul brothers, or a TQ...ViG roadtrip to Vegas). The most you are allowed to do in that sort of situation, Mustache, is politely insist that the songs about two dudes shooting loads down each others throats be kept to a minimum (yes, this is the type of faggot shit* my fellow bloggers actually listen to).
I can't wait for the REAL season to start!!!
*Note: "faggot shit" is a trademark of Velie Enterprises, Inc. and may not be used without the prior express written consent of said entity
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1 comment:
I didn't have a good start to the year. I turned on the radio in about the 4 inning. Literally, the first pitch I heard was a 400+ foot grand slam hit by the Cubs.
Not a good sign
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